A couple of years ago, I made a breakthrough in my personal journey. Thanks to some great books, daily inspiring videos and lots of research, I made a huge leap in my search for finding my happy place. I learned so much about myself and what I wanted in my life, or rather what I did not want anymore. I made such big steps in my personal development that a moment finally came when everything felt ‘right’. I thought I could never go back to feeling depressed, be annoyed or stressed.. ever ;).
But daily life is not one straight line of positivity and calm. In the best of times there are challenges.. transports are cancelled, accidents happen, health problems, disappointments… the list can go on and on. But that’s life essence.. the highs and the lows.. the excitements, the pains..
Even with full intentions to see the best in everything and have a positive outlook, challenges will be there to test us. And let’s be honest, we are only human.. I do not think it is possible to be positive at all times.
Certainly when we are on a journey of self improvement we get to learn new tools to deal with those moments of stress.
Of course those tools are so much easier to apply when things are going well and our minds peaceful. However, when the challenges arise, this is where the real test is. We can’t be positive at all times.. but we can respond to handle stress and negativity ‘differently’. It’s all in the way we choose to respond to situations and others.
So, its’ OK not to feel super ‘aligned’ and positive every minute of the day.. and here are 3 steps to help us remember that we are doing just fine!
1) BE KIND TO YOURSELF:
It’s okay not to feel ‘in harmony’ all the time.
Be kind to yourself and utilise the ‘tools’ that you have acquired to put into practice during those moments of difficulty.
At times you may feel quite overwhelmed and guilty for experiencing a bout of anxiety or stress once again.. after all those great books and all the wonderful ‘mindfulness’ apps and articles that you learned from, it’s like going backwards again.. you may wonder why on earth you feel upset, angry or sad again. You thought that you were a new person, so clued up and ‘sorted’!
Trust me when I say this, this is perfectly normal to experience those moments of relapse, if I may call them so. Just remember that what you are experiencing is normal, do not beat yourself up if you feel low or grumpy.. Let it come through like a wave.. know that it will pass and look after yourself, nurture yourself.. be kind to yourself. You have survived many challenges before and you are still here! Strong. Don’t forget it.
2) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE PLENTY OF ‘ME’ TIME
I think this is essential for everyone at any age. It may be just having some time alone doing a hobby, running, spending time with your cat or dog, or even chilling watching a good movie.. it does not matter.
Whatever is right for you and makes you feel good and at peace, do it ! Daily if possible but if time is an issue, weekly is a must.
For some it might actually be planning meditation, even 5 minutes will be beneficial.
I notice a lot of people say that they are ‘busy’ all the time, complaining of being overbooked with things to do, unable to spend time with themselves.. even 10 mins, 30 mins, 1 hour.. to rest and reconnect. There’s always time available, sometimes it just needs a little planning to ‘make time’.
3) DON’T GIVE UP ON ALL THE GOOD WORK WHEN THINGS GO SH*T
Ok so we established that crap times are always going to come, and having some time to reflect or relax is super important for our well-being and to deal with daily life and the more challenging moments.
All the work you have been doing to deal with things in a better way, banish anxiety from your life or think more positively is great. Whatever your quest and the routes you have been using to reach your goals… it is a lifetime’s work in progress. Not a ‘read a couple of self-help books’, feel better and carry on with life. Most likely, the old habits will creep back in, stress will show its ugly head again and you will feel demoralised and think something is wrong with you. Unlikely, it’s just that this self-development journey is a lifetime one, not a shortcut to quick fixes.So, hang in there.. Keep up the good work! You’re doing fine!
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